A Little Excited...

Guess who's back, back again. Halvy's back, tell a friend. Sorry it's been a while (does anybody actually read this thing regularly?). It hasn't been for lack of things to say, I've just been devoting my limited writing juices to pumping out papers for school. But now that I sit here on a Saturday night with nary a deadline in sight (semester's over), my thought muscles are active. And I'm thinkin' about going to church tomorrow. And I'm thinkin' about worshipping with the people of Christ Our Redeemer. And I'm excited. It is such a profoundly unique and awesome privilege that Christians are afforded; to gather together and praise God. And we don't praise a distant ruler, hoping that if we sing loud enough or do it just right, that maybe then this indifferent authority will be moved to take pity on us. No, we gather corporately and praise the King of kings, the Creator of all, the One who always was and always will be, the God who cares for His people, the God who gave us breath, the Father who calls us sons and daughters, the Almighty who hears our silent heartfelt prayers, the Lord who died for His servants. And we get to praise Him because we know Him. I'm excited, because I do and say a lot of stupid things that are to my shame, and yet I can go chill with other people just as messed up as I am and worship a perfectly holy God, because we know Him. Though we're sinners, we're forgiven and considered holy, because we know Him. It's a unique privilege, and I take it for granted all too often, but for now I'm excited.

Life Lessons...

While I've only been on this planet a little less than a quarter-century, oxygen's been coursin' these vessels long enough for me to have learned a few things. So I decided that every once in a while I'll drop some wisdom gained through experience, with wildly varying degrees of usefulness. Here's a lesson I recently learned. When making a little chicken alfredo for dinner, and you've almost completed the meal having just combined the chicken, pasta, alfredo, veggies and the like, and you're just about to add some pesto and crushed red pepper... make sure that the cap is properly fastened on the crushed red pepper. I tried fishing out a good chunk of the pepper flakes, but at a certain point you just have to grin and bear it. Make no mistake, I appreciate spicy foods as much as the next white guy, but this was a bit much. Lesson learned.

New Series...

I've got a little idea for an ongoing blog series. One of my aims in life is to encourage and promote biblical manhood, which of course implies that at some point I've got to figure out what this looks life for myself. This is where we can draw upon examples and wisdom from those who have gone before us and those who are still rocking it strong. So my plan is to periodically highlight men of past and present who have shown me what it means to be a man. I'm not sure what to call the series, maybe you can help me out. Here are my ideas for the title of the series- The Old Spice Awards, The Manliest Men Who Ever Manned, Real Men of Genius, Portraits and Manscapes, Now You're A Man!, or Brothas Betta Than the Othas. So I probably won't use that last one. I covet your help though, so vote on one of those or submit your own groovy title! And who knows, you might just be one of the men I venerate in this here blog.

Pokering...

So it's late Friday night (Saturday morning) and I should be going to bed. The deterrent is that I'm mindlessly playing in a couple-thousand entrant free poker tourney online, and I'm sitting at about 10th. There's a chance I could actually take some money from this thing, albeit a small one. My plan is to play like an idiot so I can either dump off my chips or build a ridiculously big stack that will take me deep into the money. Either one's a win for me. By the way, I've now moved up to 2nd with ~650 people left. I figure while I'm wasting my life away, I might as well share a couple interesting links with you. Here's the first- http://theater.goodfight.org/. Seriously go check this site out. The interesting thing is that this guy (I think) is completely off his rocker, but a good portion of what he reports is probably true. Still this crystallizes why I want to go in to ministry. Some people make their gospel some type of morality or the evils of the 'secular' world. My goal is to follow in the footsteps of Paul and preach nothing but Christ crucified. I don't want my focus in life to be anything other than Jesus' life, death, and resurrection and the redemption therein.

Somewhat related to the first link (since that website essentially calls out U2 as devil worshipers) is this little guy- http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/music/interviews/2005/bono-0805.html. I don't think Bono's theology is right in all things, but it is encouraging to see him show some understanding of the grace of God and be outspoken about it. Along the same lines of well-known figures speakin on Jesus, here's another link- http://www.iamsecond.org/. There's some pretty cool stuff on there, check out Brian Welch's video. Well I'm gonna peace out, and by the way I am currently 12th out of 170. I might just fold my way into the money.

Satisfaction...

I don't know about y'all, but I think there is some truth to the idea that we most glorify God when we are most satisfied in Him and His provision. This is somewhat in relation to the last few posts, in that I have noticed that habitual sins are less of an issue when I find joy in God. When I'm content and enjoying God and what He's doing in my life through various means, holiness comes so much easier. I start to see holiness (following God's teachings) not as the burden we sinfully make it out to be but as the joy God intended it to be. But in our fallen states, we have to fight for this. So often everything inside me doesn't want to slow down and take time in prayer or to think through Scripture and let it affect me. Even harder is to not get discouraged if I don't see my devotional time having immediate impact (as I define it) on my life. I am impatient, and if I don't feel like something's working I start to give up. Over the long run though, time spent in God's Word works wonders, and the more it takes hold on me, the more joy I have in God, and the less I want to replace Him with various idols. None of this is brand new thinking, just something I've been noticing in my own life. Satisfaction in God is a great antidote to sin, and an effective way to cultivate that joy is to dwell on verses like this; "For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified" (Hebrews 10:14). At first this sounds like Christianese gibberish, and if that's the case with you then examine the words' meanings and references. It might bring you some joy.

While We Were Yet Sinners...

In follow-up to my previous post, I simply want to present one thought; 'but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us' (Romans 5:8). I have a sinful, illogical tendency to, in moments of shame, hide from God, and these moments portray misunderstanding of the gospel. I forget that God desires relationship with sinners, and in fact died for them. He did not die for the good, but for the wicked. He does not expect me to be perfect, but knows I fail. And it was in my shame that Christ went to the cross to die for me, it is in my sin that Jesus pursues relationship with me. Why do I think there is something I can do to make God want to disown me, when Jesus already died for the very purpose of making me His? And if I at times think that God wants nothing to do with me because of my shortcomings, does this not betray my belief that at times I am actually 'good' enough to earn the favor of the only true God? That's a little arrogant, no? God's love is a free gift, given to those who are unlovable. I too often try to earn God's favor, and when I find I can't and in reality deserve punishment, I hide. Because I sin I hide from Christ, who died so that He may bring sinners close. For some reason it is difficult, but it is key to remember that Jesus knew full well the magnitude of sin in us, and willingly paid the price to get us.

Hiding...

For any of you reading who follow Jesus, I would be interested to hear your response to this. When you do something stupid that you know is sinful, in that moment what is normally the last thing you want to do? I think for most people, the hardest thing to do after recognizing their own shortcomings is to come to God and ask for forgiveness. The classic example of course is Adam and Eve hiding in the garden immediately after they disobey God and chomp on the very fruit they were told not to snack on. Why do we tend to hide after sin? There are probably several reasons, but I think one of the biggest is that to be in relationship with God is to come face to face with the definition of holiness, and it is hard to be in open, vulnerable communication with holiness when still feeling the onerous shame of sin. It is simply humiliating. I believe this is also why it is so hard for so many to come to Jesus in the first place. To come to Christ is to recognize your own broken, sinful, pitiful state and to admit the need for help, transformation, and salvation. The irony is that in our state of weakness Jesus is the One we want to hide from the most, and yet is the only One who can ever take sin and shame from us. In fact, He already has on the cross, we just need to accept that and come crawling back to Him.

If You Are So Inclined...

I just wanted to encourage y'all to periodically scroll through the music player on the right side of the page and listen to the songs that are on there. Music brings me joy, and I would love to see what you think of my selections, whether impressions are favorable or not. I'll try to keep it somewhat regularly updated, you never know what might pop up on it.

Don't Go Cheap...

I'm kinda kickin myself for promising a post yesterday. I've got a somewhat busy day tomorrow and have been spending the last few hours sentence diagramming Colossians 2:6-15 (thanks for the assist Greg, I may have to call you again). I was a Bio major, and trying to wax grammatical acumen with training on the subject tantamount to a middle-schooler's is a little challenging, especially considering Paul's writing style. Anyway, I read a blog post today from Michael Patton, a man for whom I have much respect, at least in matters theological. He posted his thoughts on Christianity and Halloween, which you can read by clicking this little guy; http://www.reclaimingthemind.org/blog/2009/10/jesus-with-his-lights-turned-off-on-halloween/. It's not the meat of the post, but the last line strikes me. He writes (referring to treatment of trick-or-treaters), "Oh, and one more thing. Don’t just give out tracts…Shame, shame. Give out the best candy in the neighborhood. Let people know that you are the house that is not cheap." I love this thought. It may have been inserted for comedic flavoring, but I think he means it, and I think the thought is right on. If we are going to be Christians in this world, then we should do things right. Don't go cheap, don't go half-hearted. As Christians, we should go to our jobs and work our butts off, raise our children with the greatest of love and care, love and serve our spouses until it kills us, make art and music with fierce passion, encourage each other with every breath, crash extra hard when we rest, and celebrate holidays like nobody else. A Christian wedding should be an event to remember. Why? Because whether we eat or drink, or whatever we do, we do all for the glory of God. We do not ultimately serve earthly masters, but the Creator of all things. Our lives are a constant act of worship. It is a difficult task, and I am convicted as I write. But I think we can start by doing the little things well, like making sure we're dishing out the goods on Halloween, or working a little harder to get that sentence diagram just right.

Hockey Talk...

Here's a quick, useless thought. I have no clue how my Colorado Avs got to the top of the NHL's Western Conference, but they did and I'm pleased. They were predicted to be one of the worst teams in the league this year (and who knows, they may yet be, it's early in the season), but they've impressed thus far. Here's hoping they keep it up. If you don't like hockey, you have no idea what I'm talking about. So anyway.... I promise I'll put some substantial thoughts up here tomorrow.

Rockin...

Do you ever experience times where music just plain sounds good? I am of the belief that almost everything is better with some tunes jammin' in the background, but what I am talking about are those rare times when songs one after another get your head noddin' and your spirits lifted in a manner dissimilar to homeostatic norms. I've been sitting here studying for my Biblical Interpretation midterm with the headphones on and the volume up, and I've been loving it. In this moment every song seems expertly crafted, every beat right on time, every string picked with intent, and every vocal chord under control. I wish this happened more often.

And in case you were wondering, below are a few of the songs that popped up in the random playlist and have been ticklin' the ears.

Chevelle- Dos
10 Years- Paralyzing Kings
Metallica- The Unvorgiven II
Tedashii- No More
Sevendust- Fear
MGMT- Of Birds, Moons, And Monsters
Modest Mouse- Education
Hurt- Shallow
Evans Blue- Eclipsed
Weezer- Holiday
Green Day- Viva La Gloria (Little Girl)
Days Of The New- Weapon And The Wound
The Nixons- Sister
Chevelle- Mexican Sun
Temple Of The Dog- Call Me A Dog
Alanis Morissette- Uninvited
Aaron Lewis- In Your Eyes (acoustic cover of the Peter Gabriel original)
32 Leaves- Blood On My Hands
Radiohead- Black Star

Nothin...

I sat down to write something insightful and thought-provoking... but I've got nothing. I was kicking around writing on the morality of Rahab's lie, the nature of Balaam and his prophecies, or maybe God's sovereignty over evil, but apparently I don't have any blogger juice right now. Any thoughts? Anything y'all want to read about? Anything you want to know about me or my life (not that this is an interesting topic, I'm just well informed on all matters Aaron). Let me know, I need inspiration! Maybe I'll write about some of the books I've been reading, or music I've been jammin' on...

P.S. I just heard The RZA quote the Bible on The Colbert Report; should give me something to blog about, just gotta' process that one.

Sitting At The Table...

Howdy y'all! I should just say hi to Everett; pretty sure he's the only sucker that reads this thing. But if this does meet your eyes, you should go read Luke 17:7-10. Seriously, go do that now, then come back....... done? Now, you're most likely feeling a little uneasy. This passage doesn't portray Jesus as the big softie we've made Him out to be, does it? In fact, Jesus seems a little callous, a little cold, a little unloving. What He essentially tells His disciples is that if they perfectly execute on every command given to them, then they should still have no expectancy of special reward or thanks for their actions, but should have an attitude of humility. Why? Because they have only done what they were asked to do. In his book Holiness By Grace, Bryan Chapell uses the analogy of a good waiter to make Jesus' illustration understandable to the modern reader. If you had a superb, flawless waiter who was attentive to every need and served cheerfully with a seemingly effortless poise, as good as that waiter may be, would you not still be a little vexed if he sat down and asked you to pass the rolls and butter? And why is that? Because as perfect as said waiter may be, he is always just that; a waiter. He is not a member of the dinner party, and would be overstepping his bounds expecting to be treated as such. Jesus says the same of His disciples, no matter how well they execute on His commands, they are still servants, and He is still God. They cannot change that relationship, no matter how righteous their deeds. And it's not like the commands that Jesus lays out for His disciples are even easily attainable. Check out the preceding verses. Jesus essentially teaches them to not tempt others to sin, to watch (not allow) the sin in their own life, rebuke others for their sin, and endlessly forgive the repentant sinner. And it would help to have the kind of faith that uproots trees with a word. This is no easy checklist (may I posit impossible?), and yet adherence to it will not seat them at Jesus' table. Now here's where the love comes in. Since you have your Bible by you, read Matthew 7:11, and John 1:12, and Hebrews 2:11-13, and especially Galatians 4:4-7. Are you getting the picture? For us who love Jesus, who put our faith and trust in Him, we are fallen servants sitting at the table of the King. In fact, one of the last scenes of the Bible is that of the marriage supper of the Lamb (Jesus) and His Bride (the church), in which the reigning King Jesus is perfectly united with His people. We are invited to this not because we have perfectly fulfilled the tasks given to us, in fact we don't even come close, and even if we were perfect, we are still servants. But we sit at the table because Jesus chooses to love the ill-deserving; it is a free gift to those who could never earn it. He makes slaves family. That's grace.

Wise Career Move?...

This is not important at all, but to me hilarious; Cleveland traded Braylon Edwards to the Jets. Here's why this is funny. A couple of days ago Edwards was accused of punching one of LeBron James' buddies outside of a nightclub, obviously not a good move if you make your living in Cleveland. Edwards was already rumored to be on the way out, but this was apparently enough to book his ticket. So by clocking some dude in the face, Edwards gets traded from the 0-4 Browns to the 3-1 Jets. If he had known that this was all it took to get shipped out of Cleveland and onto a playoff contender, he probably would have suplexed Drew Carey months ago.

A Good Day...

As I was wrapping up my night I thought to myself, 'I've had a pretty darn good day' (maybe not my verbatim thought, but a decent approximation). Then I took some time to analyze that thought, which is almost never a good idea. What lead me to the conclusion that today was a good day? What is my definition of a good day? I took stock of today's events- a trip to monergism.com's warehouse, a little time spent reading for class, watching the Caps/Flyers game, making some chicken curry with my roomie, and watching today's World Series of Poker episode. It occured to me that the majority of the day was spent entertaining myself. Apparently my working definition of a good day is a day of fun. I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this way. Take a brief survey of your friends' facebook updates. What you'll probably find is that their level of contentment is almost solely determined by whether they had fun or were upset. Rarely are we basing our joy on the only unfailing good, God Himself. Most of the time we are seeking joy in temporal, fleeting pleasures, and when these fail us we're not happy with the state of things. We look to God and wonder where He is, presuming He exists to make us happy as we have defined it. Thinking about all this lead me to the question 'how should a 'good' day be defined?' What truly makes a 'good' day?

Replacement Theology...

For the more theologically minded; don't worry, I'm not hitting up that topic right now. What I am talking about is a replacement of affections. To live a Christian life is to be constantly swapping false affections for right affections, or rather to be replacing false idols in our lives with the only One truly worthy of worship- God. Idols come in many forms. Self image, relationships, jobs, friends, ministry, spouses, children, sex, comfort, entertainment, money, and food can all become idols to us, and often do. Many of these can be good things, but every single one of them can be mercilessly ripped from us at a moment's notice. None of these things are stable, none of them are permanent, and none of them can be completely and fully trusted. In the end, outside of the context of God and His love, they are all worthless and even worse, destructive. That is because only God is without fault, and only God is worthy of all of our faith and trust. Repeatedly we elevate life's good things and make them the most important things, and expect them to fulfill us in a way they were never ever meant to. And like Indiana Jones we repeatedly swap what is valuable for bags of sand. That is not to say that we shouldn't love our spouses with all our might, or that we shouldn't work hard at our jobs, or even that we shouldn't try and make a good living. But what happens when the spouse dies, we get laid off, and the stock market crashes? If our existence is wrapped up in these things, we're in for a world of hurt. The center of our lives should be God; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. When He is sitting on the throne of our hearts, then we are free to enjoy His blessings in a way that is healthy and satisfying, because instead of replacing Him, life's pleasures lead us to Him, and He is the very source of all that is good.

Be Holy...

I read Leviticus today (it was assigned for class), and I have to say that if one thing pops out about that book, it is the holiness of God. Through and through we are reminded that God is holy and requires holiness of His people. Here is what's interesting to me. It seems to me that God requires holiness of His people so that they may fellowship with Him. He reminds them that He is their God, and they are His people. God takes great delight in His people, and wants His people to love and glorify Him. If God had no desire to be in relationship with His people, He would not command holiness from them. He would have nothing to say to them. He would require nothing of them. He would simply leave them to their destructive selves. But that is not the God of the Bible. The God of the Bible loves and pursues. And the kind of relationship that God desires is a perfect relationship, a relationship untainted by any sin or defect. The problem is that we are sinful, and He is holy, and those things cannot mix, for sin would corrupt the Holy. Knowing that we cannot be holy on our own right, God provides means of atonement, that we may be united to Him. In those times, it was through a sacrificial system. Now we have union with God through the perfect atoning work of Jesus. Does it not seem a little incredible that a perfectly holy God would want relationship with prideful, insignificant people that have continuously rebelled against Him, and would even desire this relationship to the point of becoming like them and dying by their hand so that they may become holy like Him? We have a very good and holy God, who has done all the work, that we may be holy, that we may overcome sin and death, that we may know Him.

Please To Enjoy...

If you are unfamiliar with Matt Chandler, he is a pastor down in Highland Village, a suburb of Denton, Texas. I posted a link to his sermons below, and I would strongly encourage you to take some time to listen to the sermon entitled 'A Little Housekeeping' from 9-6-09. He's speaking specifically to his church, but I think the sentiment is relevant for all.

http://hv.thevillagechurch.net/sermons

Accepting Applications...

I am not at all too proud to admit, I want a wife. Feel free to email me applications or references at aaronhalvorsen@hotmail.com. Hey, not every post has to be deep.

Teach Me About God...

This is a subject that I will most surely elaborate on when I have the time and energy, but I feel compelled to at least touch on it now. While I have been in Portland I have been visiting churches in order to find a church home (which I think I have done) and to see what the state of preaching/teaching is in the Portland area. One thing is painfully obvious- we as Christians like to talk about the love of God a whole lot more than we like to talk about God, and we seem to like God because of the things He gives us rather than because of who He truly is. God is indeed loving, but He is also worthy, reigning, glorious, mighty, just, wrathful, sovereign, kind, gracious, merciful, and compassionate, and this is obviously not a complete list. Read Leviticus and then try and tell me that there are enough sermons on the holiness of God. Why is no one preaching on this? Why are we not learning to love God for who He is as He has reavealed to us through the Word? And even if we want to argue that love is God's greatest and most defining attribute, why so little explanation or even mention of the cross? Why so little teaching on the moment at which God's love for us is most clearly and acutely detailed? If you go to a church that teaches the cross, that teaches God as He has revealed Himself, then praise God! If you do not, please beg your pastor to take you to the cross that you may meet God there and learn to love Jesus with everything you've got for everything He is!

Without Ceasing...

I was spending some quiet time with Jesus today (something I don't do regularly enough), and I felt the command to try something that I don't think I have ever conscientiously attempted. God pushed me to spend the whole day in communication with Him, or as Paul states in his first letter to the Thessalonians, to 'pray without ceasing'. And the command is sage. If your whole day is spent in constant communication and fellowship with God, then sin must by default be dramatically reduced (of course sin cannot be completely eliminated this side of heaven). It is sin that separates us from God, and it is God that keeps us from sin. This is highlighted by the fact that Revelation 21 explains that after death, sin, and satan are done away with, it is then that the dwelling of God is with man. To be in perfect fellowship with God is to be perfectly pure, and requires nothing less than aboslute holiness. So was I able to stay in constant communication with God? My goal was in every situation to be consulting Him, seeking His guidance, and feeling His love. Was I able to do this? Nope. Not even close. Even while reading all of Genesis (which was assigned for class), I found myself drifting from His voice for extended periods of time. Here's the good news though; in attempting to constantly be in communion with God, I feel closer to Him than I have in a long time. And this attempt made me painfully aware of how much I neglect my Father in day-to-day life. For these two reasons I call the process a success, and will continue to increase my communication with Jesus. He's God, and probably has a lot of good stuff to say.

Introduction (The Struggle)...

I guess I'll start out by explaining why I jumped into the blogosphere; a mission statement of sorts. Essentially I am writing to allow you, the reader, a look into the life of a man (more specifically a young, single seminarian) struggling with God. When I say 'struggling' I do not mean that my faith is constantly dancing on the edge of flatlining or that at a moment's notice I may walk away from my Creator. Rest assured, God has taken a firm hold of me and I believe He will not soon give me up. Rather, when I say struggling I mean that as I follow God challenges, complications, and roadblocks arise. Most if not all of these are caused by my sinfulness, by everything inside of me that wants to oppose God and set myself up as the ultimate authority in my own life. I am naturally selfish, and it is not easy to submit to an outside authority, no matter how compelling, beautiful, just, and good that authority may be. And I do not think I am speaking in shades of self-deprecation but rather am being very real about the universal state of man. We are all naturally self-serving, self-centered, self-worshiping idolaters. It takes none other than the Holy Spirit to change that, and it is with the Holy Spirit that my sinful self wars. This is the struggle. I understand that you may question why I, and countless other Christians, even enter the struggle at all. Why fight to sit under the subjection of an outside authority? Why not be your own boss? To anyone who scoffs at the idea of submission to the God revealed in the Bible, I would humbly ask; "Who rules your life, and how has that worked out so far?". Or better yet, "How will that work out in the end?". I fight pride and seek humility because, though hard (impossible by my own power), to let anything other than God rule over my life is to sit under the authority of a fallen, broken, and wicked master. This is by no means a comprehensive validation of the Christian life, but it's a start. So I invite you to join me in the struggle. And don't worry, it won't be all Eeyore-esque. What I've found is the struggle with God is life's ultimate source of joy.