A Biblical Theology of Marriage...

Marriage is a big deal in the evangelical subculture. We contend for the upholding of the sanctity of marriage, as we should. We plead with our young people to save sexual intimacy for the time of marriage. We pour countless dollars into the celebration of the wedding day and all that comes with this momentous occasion. One of the most frequent questions any youth pastor is sure to deal with is 'How and who do I marry?' Who a person marries is said to be the biggest decision a one will make outside of their commitment to Christ. Any pastor or counselor will tell you that a significant portion of their counseling workload revolves around relationships within the marriage context. And to take a critical look, marriage can be a subversively acceptable obsession that replaces God as our top priority in our hearts and minds. Either intentionally or unintentionally, many Christians promote the idea that the key to being godly and happy is to have a successful marriage. We Christians are enthralled with the idea of being united to another. Because of this, I wanted to take a biblical-theological survey of marriage to form an idea of what the Scriptures as a whole say about marriage and its place in our lives.
Marriage Through the Scriptures
For this study, I simply wanted to work through the LXX Canon of the Bible. As I was collecting data on the topic of marriage, it did not appear that the institution of marriage underwent any drastic changes in form and function throughout redemptive history, and so it did not seem necessary to study marriage in light of the various covenantal contexts. Instead the focus will be not on how marriage changes throughout redemptive history, but rather what information is revealed about marriage and its significance throughout the Bible. For this reason I will simply work through the traditional Protestant (LXX) Canon.
Old Testament
History
The first marriage took place in the garden of Eden with the first people, Adam and Eve. Genesis 1:26-31 tells us that on the sixth day God made Adam male and Eve female, the two who were to be married were inherently and substantially different, while both were made in the image of God (1:27). Verse 28 of this passage informs us that the couple were to 'be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth', and in this we find that one of the basic reasons for marriage is for the growth of humanity; i.e. having children. Genesis 2 fleshes out the story a little more. In 2:18 God claims that it is not good for man to be alone. God had already created Adam and the animals, but none of the animals provided a suitable relationship/partner for Adam, and so God saw fit to create a helper for man. So out of the side of man God formed woman (2:21-22), and Adam rejoiced over this good creation (2:23). In this we learn maybe the most basic reason for marriage, as it gets to the heart of the very reason for the creation of two genders- man and woman are to be companions to one another and fulfill a role that no other part of God's creation can. Immediately following Adam's rejoicing, the decree is made that "a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (2:24). A man and a woman are to share in a unity stronger than that of parent and child, they are to become a single, unified flesh or person. This of course is a profound but essential mystery, a husband and wife in great intimacy become one. In this oneness there is openness and no shame (2:25).
Unfortunately, it does not take long before this intimacy is broken. Genesis 3 records the fall of man, wherein Adam and Eve eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, an action explicitly prohibited by God. This sin resulted in a loss of intimacy both between each other (3:7) and before God (3:10). Furthermore, as a result of the curses put upon them by God because of their disobedience, the woman would have pain in childbirth and she would desire to usurp her husband's authority (3:16). Man was in turn cursed with toil and struggle in his work (3:17). Because of sin the very reasons for and functions of marriage- intimacy, assistance, and procreation- were marred. However, God had in this sin graciously promised one from their line who would come and crush the serpent who drove a wedge in between man and woman (and God) in the first place (3:15).
The rest of Genesis traces the line that would come from this first union in anticipation of the serpent-crusher, and in this we see the role of marriage and the corruption of this institution. In Genesis 4:19 Lamech is the first man to take two wives and abrogate the one woman/one man pattern established in Eden. Much of the flood-inducing wickedness that God saw in men revolved around the improper sexual and marriage practices of the people (Gen. 6:1-7). Genesis 12:1-10 records Abram's unholy treatment of his own wife and the marriage union wherein he allowed another man to take his own wife, a sin which was later partially repeated (Gen. 20:1-18). Even Abimelech, King of Gerar, recognized the sin that it was to take another man's wife (Gen. 20:3-9). And Judah, the very man whose seed would bring the eschatological King (Gen. 49:10), was caught in sexual sin when he visited a prostitute that turned out to be his own daughter-in-law (Gen. 38).
This defilement of the institution of marriage soon became a picture of Israel's lack of faithfulness to God. After the incident of the golden calf and the renewing of the covenant, God told His people that He would drive the other nations from their midst lest they intermarry with the other nations and "whore after their gods" (Exod. 34:11-16). Not only is Israel's faithlessness pictured as sexual infidelity to God, but marriage is seen to profoundly impact one's worship to God.
Because of mans' tendency toward sexual immorality and marital infidelity, various laws were instituted. The ten commandments cry against both adultery and coveting another man's wife (Exod. 20:14, 17, Deut. 5:18, 21). Laws were administered for sexual immorality (Lev. 18), punishments against sexual immorality (Lev. 20:10-21), marrying captives (Deut. 21:10-14), laws for divorce which was tentatively allowed (Deut. 24:1-4), laws for marriage in the case of death of a spouse (Deut. 25:5-10), a test for adultery by the wife (Num. 5:11-31), and even laws prohibiting the king's collection of wives (Deut. 17:17). Leviticus 17:7 prohibits sacrifices to other gods, again using language of infidelity when describing idolatry as whoring.
Deuteronomy 31:16 predicts that the people will whore after other gods when they enter the promised land, and this is exactly what happens. Even the great king David commits adultery and corrupts the marriage union (2 Sam. 11), and Solomon collects for himself many wives which turn his heart from God (1 Kgs. 11:1-8). After the kingdom of Israel is split and taken into captivity, the people of God had intermarried with other nations and neglected their status as God's chosen and separate people through whom the serpent-crusher would come (Ezra 9-10, Neh. 13:23-27).
Wisdom
The wisdom literature has much to say about marriage. Psalm 106:39 again uses whoring language to describe Israel's infidelity to God. However, the emphasis shifts in the wisdom literature to the greatness of marital unions, and to warning against the corruption of this union. Song of Solomon is an extended love song that celebrates an intimate and blessed union between a man and a woman. Proverbs makes much of the blessing that is a good wife (Prov. 12:4, 18:22), finishing with a description of such a woman (Prov. 31:10-31). At the same time, Proverbs warns against either committing adultery and defiling the marriage union (Prov. 5-7), or uniting oneself to a woman who is more hurt than help (Prov. 19:13-14, 21:9, 27:15).
Prophets
The prophets greatly focus on the relationship between God and His people Israel and Judah, and draw extensively on the picture of marriage and marital infidelity to convict the people of their unfaithfulness to their covenant LORD. Jeremiah 2:20 depicts the people's worship of idols as playing the part of a whore, and verse 32 of that same passage likens the people who had forgotten their God as a bride who had forgotten her wedding attire. Jeremiah 3:1-10 plays on the same theme, accusing the people of whoring after other gods. One of the most painful passages in all of Scripture, Ezekiel 16 shows God's great anguish over unfaithful Judah. The LORD describes Himself as a loving husband who had spread his garment over his young bride, a picture of protection in marriage that is also seen in Ruth 3. But God's people had turned from their loving husband; Jerusalem was an adulterous bride. In fact, she was the greatest of all whores, for she had seen all the good gifts of her loving Husband and still willingly at her own cost played the whore and turned from God (Ezek. 16:34). God uses whoring as a picture of spiritual infidelity in Ezekiel 23, where the two whoring sisters Oholah and Oholibah represent Samaria and Jerusalem. Furthermore, the prophet Hosea is called by God to marry the prostitute Gomer as an earthly representation of the spiritual adultery of God's people (Hos. 1-4). Still, just as Hosea redeemed his whoring wife (Hos. 3), God promised to redeem Isreal His bride (Isa. 62:5). God would not abandon His bride, as He hates divorce (Mal. 2:13-16).
New Testament
Gospels
Jesus Himself has much to say about marriage. He forbids divorce except on the grounds of adultery (Matt. 5:31-32), and tells that a man and woman joined together in marriage are joined by God and should not be separated by men (Matt. 19:1-2, Mk. 10:1-12). Jesus tells us that not only is it a sin to commit adultery, but it is a sin to look at another woman lustfully and every measure should be taken to ensure this lust does not happen (Matt. 5:27-30). Jesus likens Himself to a bridegroom that has entered into the presence of his guests (Matt. 9:15, Mk. 2:19, Lk.5:34), and compares His second coming to a bridegroom coming to consummate marriage with a bride (Matt. 25:1-13). Even with this lofty view of marriage, Jesus claims that marriage is not paramount or permanent. When the Pharisees try to trick Jesus with a question about death, remarriage, and the eternal state, Jesus informs them that in the eternal state there will be no marriage (Matt. 22:23-33, Mk. 12:18-27, Lk. 20:27-40). Also, in Luke 20 Jesus tells us that those who allow marriage to hinder their devotion to God and anticipation of His arrival will have no part in eternal union with Him (Lk. 20:20, 24).
Epistles
Paul and the other writers of the epistles have even more to say about the institution of marriage. They regale against and warn against sexual immorality, claiming that the adulterers and sexually immoral will have no part in the eternal kingdom of God (1 Cor. 6:9, Eph. 5:5, 1 Thess: 4:3-8, Rev. 21:8, 22:15). Paul urges that marriage is a lifelong binding union (Rom. 7:2-3, 1 Cor. 7:10-24), and that marriage is the appropriate outlet for sexual inclination (1 Cor. 7:2-5). He admonishes men and women to flee sexual immorality (1 Cor. 6:12-20), because it is a sin that particularly defiles the church (1 Cor. 5). As the writer of Hebrews says, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled..." (Heb. 13:4). If a man is to be a leader in a church, he is to uphold his own marriage in faithfulness (1 Tim. 3:2, 12, Tit. 1:6).
Husbands and wives are given instructions as to how they are to behave in marriage; husbands are to be caring, loving, and providing, while wives are to be respectful and submissive (Col. 3:18-19, 1 Pet. 3:1-7). 1 Corinthians 11:3 that these gender roles grow out of the very roles of the Triune God and His relationship to the church and even to Himself. As Christ is the head of the church and as God is the head of Christ, so man is the head of woman. Further in the same passage Paul appeals to gender in creation to make the same appeal, that man is the head of woman in marriage because woman was created for man (1 Cor. 11:8-10). This does not mean that man is to rule harshly, as men and women are dependent on another for life (1 Cor. 11:11-12). Paul expands upon the mystery of gender roles in marriage and their relation to God in Ephesians 5:22-33. Here Paul explicitly states that the wife is to respectfully submit to the husband (5:22), and the husband is to lay down his life for his wife just as Christ died for the church (5:25-29). Paul again appeals to creation ordinance, remarking amazingly that the one-flesh union of man and woman in marriage is a mystery, but it is a mystery that points to Christ's relationship to the church (Eph. 5:31-32). While marriage is an important institution, it is only a temporal one. It is a shadow, and the object of the shadow is the greater reality of Christ and His own bride- the church.
This is why Revelation depicts the end of all present things and the beginning of the eternal state with a marriage supper (Rev. 19:6-10). The groom is Jesus and His great Bride is the church. God will grant His people, though they are sinful, to be dressed in bright and pure linens. Here is the consummation of the Gospel, God has made His whorish, rebellious people clean and will live in perfect union with them forever, and the picture God uses to show this union is one of marriage. Revelation 21 shows that at the consummation of all things the church of Christ, will descend from heaven as the very dwelling place of God, adorned as a Bride prepared for the perfect union that man had rejected from the start (Rev. 21:2). This Bride is the wife of the Lamb, Jesus Christ (Rev. 21:9).
Theological Summary
God created man from the start to be in relationship- male and female He created them in His own image. The chief of these relations is the relationship man has with God, but even this was not enough in God's sight. He desired that man have two genders, a man and a woman, to share in a union that would be a reflection of God's own relationship within the Godhead, and even more so would depict the relationship that Christ has with the Church universal. Marriage is a God-given institution created for mutual help and service, companionship, procreation, sexual fulfillment, and sanctification. Even more than this, it is to point men and women to the greater reality of God and His Bride.
When sin entered the world, marriage was marred and perversions entered. Adultery, abuse, power struggles, pain, toil, coveting, disobedience, and sexual immorality put a wedge into the perfect union of man and woman. This was reflected in the actions of the Church through all time, as God's Bride has perpetually whored after other Gods. Still, God sent His Son Jesus Christ as the great Bridegroom to redeem His Bride. Jesus Christ laid down His own life for the redemption of the Church, and as such men are to lay down their lives for their wives, as their wives are to follow the leadership of their husbands as the Church is to submit to Christ's headship. At the end of time, God will finally and ultimately purify His Bride, and she will be wedded to Christ in the perfect union, the perfect union that Adam and Eve all too briefly foreshadowed. The marriage of man and woman is a temporal and blessed picture of God's redeeming love for His own Bride.